Goodbye 2017

It has been almost 2 years since my divorce was final. It's been a time of sadness, depression, forgiveness, growth and healing. I have been away for a long time learning about myself and learning to both forgive myself and even have learned to like who I am now.

I did not set any goals for the year. I just decided I would challenge myself to be the best I could be with what I had to work with. I went from middle aged housewife to being employed by an amazing university with great benefits and an amazing group of people to work with. The road was not easy. I had 3 part time jobs for awhile and then was blessed with a loving friend who talked me into applying at the university. It is difficult to get in. Some have applied for years. I put in 46 applications in over a 4 month period, had 11 interviews and was hired part time. The day before I started my part time job, I was called for another interview for full time. I went for the interview and started full time only 3 weeks after starting my part time at the university! That doesn't happen! Everyone I talked to says they've worked part time for at least a year. I was so very lucky!!!

Australia was lovely and someday I want to go back and see more of it. I really had considered staying there, but needed to be in a relationship to be able to work there. Not my thing at that time at all! I came home and went to work looking for jobs. I was turned down so many times because I was out of work for 26 years to raise a family. That was really hard. I finally found work as an Event Specialist then as a merchandiser, a produce associate and then a part time cashier at the college. I was putting a good 60 hours a week in and not bringing a lot home, but I was managing.

I found an apartment very close to work, so it made life a bit easier. I bought a car and was making it on my income, but with 3 part time jobs, I had no health insurance. Nothing major happened, thank heavens, but I did have to take a trip into the emergency room for a bloody nose. I had 14 nose bleeds in 24 hours and ended up having to go to the emergency room because the doctor said he couldn't do it in his office. All it took was what looked like a lit incense stick shoved up my nose, and I was fixed. That little procedure produced an $1800 bill. Amazing!

Over the past 2 years I have grown up. I've learned many lessons about life. I've learned to conquer my fears of flying, being alone, getting lost, traveling to strange places, heights, and failure. Those things really limited me and what I did. But more than anything, I stopped hiding from God. I felt like I failed when the divorce was final, and I tried my best at ignoring anything about God. I stopped praying, reading the Bible, would avoid any conversations about Him, etc. I felt like I failed because I ended up breaking my vows by signing the divorce papers. That, too, has been conquered.

It has been a long journey, but a necessary one. I have come out a better person. One with much more patience, understanding, forgiveness and love for those around me. I have been blessed with many friends and acquaintances and have a job where I get treated with respect.  Life can really change in just 2 years. I am truly blessed!

Book Review: Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New

Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New: *Healing the Broken Places *Resolving Unmet Expectations *Moving Your Relationship Forward
Author: Cindy Beall
Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
ISBN: 9780736967112
Genre: Christian Non-fiction

Description (from NetGalley):

What's better than new?--God's best!

You've made a commitment to see your marriage healed, so now what? Whether you're recovering from an affair or years of coasting, Cindy Beall shares from her redeemed marriage journey to help you


heal deeply by restoring faith in a future

build wisely from the foundation up

live fully by interacting as a renewed couple

invest generously in your marriage and in other people


Insightful questions, biblical teachings to counter lies, and stories of rebuilt marriages lead you to God's healing and the hope of helping others from the place you once had deep pain.

My Thoughts:

Cindy Beall wrote this book with both honesty and experience and shared a story of pain and her journey to healing their marriage. Her story is raw and can be found more in detail in her first book "Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken: Finding Forgiveness and Restoration".

"Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New" concentrates on how to fix your marriage and make it better than the first time around. She gives Bible references, life experience and questions/answers in workbook style so that you can work on your own marriage to improve it and heal it. Cindy's style is engaging and makes things attainable instead of feeling impossible like some other books I've read in the past.

If you want to fix a marriage that is having issues, give this book a try. I won't say it's going to be an easy fix or even successful, because you BOTH need to WANT to fix the problems in the marriage. This is something that both need to work on to attain success. There are no quick fixes, you'll experience lots of pain, but if you want your marriage to work, it will be worth it in the end. The best part about this book is that she has lived it and applied it, so it's not a book penned by someone who has theories. This one has worked, so with hard work and desire by both partners, you may see some amazing results!

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley courtesy of the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review, but instead, one that gives my honest opinion.

Family Recipe Friday -

Kapusta means cabbage in Polish. This dish was made many times by my grandmother. Sometimes she used just cabbage and other times she'd combine cabbage and sauerkraut together and add pork for New Year's Day and would serve with mashed potatoes and kielbasa.

Just seeing this recipe for Kapusta brings back many memories of my grandmother standing in the kitchen cooking, the warmth of the atmosphere and the mouthwatering smells. Walking into her kitchen on a cold winter's day was like walking into heaven. She would always be in there making something and I remember not only the warmth of the kitchen, but her smile, hugs and kisses and then her demanding that we sit down and eat.

Kapusta

1 medium head cabbage
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 pound bacon
1/4 cup flour
1 bay leaf
1 small onion, chopped
1 clove garlic
1/4 teaspoon Cumin powder

Cut cabbage in fat shreds. Cook in a small amount of water to which you have added the bayleaf, onion, garlic, salt and Cumin.

Cut bacon into small pieces and fry. Add flout and stir constantly until it is a rich brown. Add to cooked cabbage and simmer on low for about 10 minutes.

Put into a buttered casserole and bake in a 300 degree F oven for 20 minutes.

Buttered crumbs may be sprinkled on top before baking.

Makes 6-8 servings.

Exchange Rate and Trip

Blue Mountains - Three Sisters

I'm beside myself with trying to decide if I should now be going to Australia. The exchange rate isn't looking as nice as it did when all things were set into motion. Unfortunately, because of the amount of time that the divorce settlement took, I lost my roommate. As of yet, I still don't have the settlement money in my account, so I still cannot apply for a Visa until I have proof that I have enough money to go out and stay. Who knows, with the way things are going, I might not be accepted because the amount of money I have isn't enough. This stacked up on top of being alone out there, makes me really antsy, to say the least. 

I do have all the paperwork finished and ready to send to the bank in Sydney. Now, I just have to find out if I can go and if I really want to face a huge city alone. Growing up in rural America and never really being in a big city for more than a couple of days puts me at a disadvantage. Or should I say it makes me a bit terrified. I will admit, I've not done much alone all the time I was married, so this is a huge step for me. Maybe I'm just getting cold feet because I'm facing the unknown alone.

My other option is to stay here in the States and look for a good place to go. I do have 2 options. One would be to go out to the West Coast and be near my daughter or the East Coast to be near my son. Both said they wouldn't mind sharing an apartment with me and it would help them, but I'm not sure if it really would be or if they are just saying that to help Mom out.

So here I sit, pretty much indecisive on what I should do. I need to make a decision soon as my time is running out. I hate this paralyzed feeling and how much I'm flopping back and forth. Hopefully I'll grow up soon and make a decision. Right now there's a whole world of options and I can't figure out which one is best!  

Family Recipe Friday - Rhubarb Coffee Cake

It's spring - that time of the year that I get excited as the new plants poke through. With that, comes daffodils, snowdrops, spring onions, garlic, but most exciting for me is the rhubarb.  I love the sour taste of rhubarb and am guilt of munching on the stalks while chopping them for other recipes like this Rhubarb Coffee Cake.

This is another recipe from my aunt's collection. I remember her making Rhubarb Coffee Cake and giving it to me when I was young. She would also bring it along with her when she'd come visit and I was always excited to see her as well as to see what tasty treat she'd bring along when she'd stop in to visit.

Rhubarb Coffee Cake

1-1/2 cups packed brown sugar
1/2 cup shortening
1 egg
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup (8 ounces) sour cream
1-1/2 cups chopped rhubarb

Topping:
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
1 Tablespoon butter
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Cream sugar and shortening. Add egg. Combine flour, baking soda and salt; add alternately with the sour cream to creamed mixture. Fold in rhubarb. Spread in a greased 13"x 9" x 2" baking pan. Combine all topping ingredients. Sprinkle over batter. Bake at 350 degrees F for 45-50 minutes.

The Dresden Files Series - Storm Front

I have been swamped with things that I need to do and as the pressure builds to get ready to leave here, I really, really have to have some down time. Time to unwind and relax. I decided to treat myself to a book that has been sitting on my shelf for ages begging to be read, but I've put it off for other things. Finally, I listened to that book and  pulled it off the shelf and curled up a couple of nights over the weekend and read.

If you haven't heard of the Harry Dresden from the Dresden Files series by Jim Butcher, you must have been hiding somewhere, because it seems everyone has been discussing it. My son's best friend was here one day last year telling me I HAVE to get that book down and read it. He went on and on about how great the series was. I nodded and said, "I will" and forgot about it.  Then a few weeks ago, my son started on the series and said, "Mom, you are really going to love these books. You must read them!!" Hmmmmm.... someday....

Well someday came this weekend and I now know what they mean. I read the first book, "Storm Front" and enjoyed it - I mean really enjoyed it. It's like Harry Potter meets .... hmmmm... think of the quirkiest detective you can imagine and insert it here. Harry Dresden is a dectective, but not just any detective, he's a wizard. He's quirky, broke, unlucky with woment (according to Bob) and gets made fun of because of his profession. However, the police force uses him when they have to, and this time, it's quite a bit.

Do yourself a favor and pick up "Storm Front" if you haven't read it yet. It will have you laughing, shaking your head, putting you on edge and just leave you chuckling to yourself as you think - man, I got to read the next book. The kids were right, this was a book I had to read. Now, off to find the other 15 or so!!

LEADCIN Titanium Stainless Steel Men's Bike Chain Bracelet

The LEADCIN Titanium Stainless Steel Men's Bike Chain Bracelet in high polish titanium stainless steel is a very attractive bracelet. When it arrived, I was impressed by the packaging as well as the quality of the bracelet itself. The chain arrived in a nice gift box and was held on to a soft velvet type backing by two elastic bands. This makes it easy to replace the chain if you want to store it in the box.

The bracelet itself is 8" long and fits my 6'2" son with not a lot of room to spare. He doesn't mind his bracelets that are not so loose, so it's perfect for him. I, on the other hand love loose fitting bracelets, so not only did I try it on, but threatened to keep it. This bracelet is not only for guys - but looks great on a woman's wrist as well.

If you have any bikers in the family, have biker friends, or just know someone that would love the look of something different, then this is the perfect gift to give to them. Make sure that you remember to pick up one for yourself, because when you see this bracelet, you are going to turn around and get one for you anyhow.

This is a lovely bracelet that I highly recommend to anyone - male or female. It's just that awesome!

Disclosure: This is an HONEST review regarding a sample I received for testing purposes. I was not asked nor was I required to write a favorable review.