Sunday, December 31, 2017

Goodbye 2017

It has been almost 2 years since my divorce was final. It's been a time of sadness, depression, forgiveness, growth and healing. I have been away for a long time learning about myself and learning to both forgive myself and even have learned to like who I am now.

I did not set any goals for the year. I just decided I would challenge myself to be the best I could be with what I had to work with. I went from middle aged housewife to being employed by an amazing university with great benefits and an amazing group of people to work with. The road was not easy. I had 3 part time jobs for awhile and then was blessed with a loving friend who talked me into applying at the university. It is difficult to get in. Some have applied for years. I put in 46 applications in over a 4 month period, had 11 interviews and was hired part time. The day before I started my part time job, I was called for another interview for full time. I went for the interview and started full time only 3 weeks after starting my part time at the university! That doesn't happen! Everyone I talked to says they've worked part time for at least a year. I was so very lucky!!!

Australia was lovely and someday I want to go back and see more of it. I really had considered staying there, but needed to be in a relationship to be able to work there. Not my thing at that time at all! I came home and went to work looking for jobs. I was turned down so many times because I was out of work for 26 years to raise a family. That was really hard. I finally found work as an Event Specialist then as a merchandiser, a produce associate and then a part time cashier at the college. I was putting a good 60 hours a week in and not bringing a lot home, but I was managing.

I found an apartment very close to work, so it made life a bit easier. I bought a car and was making it on my income, but with 3 part time jobs, I had no health insurance. Nothing major happened, thank heavens, but I did have to take a trip into the emergency room for a bloody nose. I had 14 nose bleeds in 24 hours and ended up having to go to the emergency room because the doctor said he couldn't do it in his office. All it took was what looked like a lit incense stick shoved up my nose, and I was fixed. That little procedure produced an $1800 bill. Amazing!

Over the past 2 years I have grown up. I've learned many lessons about life. I've learned to conquer my fears of flying, being alone, getting lost, traveling to strange places, heights, and failure. Those things really limited me and what I did. But more than anything, I stopped hiding from God. I felt like I failed when the divorce was final, and I tried my best at ignoring anything about God. I stopped praying, reading the Bible, would avoid any conversations about Him, etc. I felt like I failed because I ended up breaking my vows by signing the divorce papers. That, too, has been conquered.

It has been a long journey, but a necessary one. I have come out a better person. One with much more patience, understanding, forgiveness and love for those around me. I have been blessed with many friends and acquaintances and have a job where I get treated with respect.  Life can really change in just 2 years. I am truly blessed!